30 Things I've Learned Before I was 30

I'm turning 30 soon. [shudder] I'm not entirely excited at this prospect, but considering that it is such a landmark birthday, I thought I would record some things I've learned in the past 30 years. Ugh. I'm feeling slightly nauseous at the thought of being 30 right now.

Anyway. Moving on. 30 things, in no particular order except the first three. Here we go.

1. I am a daughter of God.

2. He loves me and I love him. (Oh, hello there Young Women's theme!)

3. My family loves me, despite my many imperfections, and I love them.

4. I am truly am grateful for those that have sacrificed their time, freedom, and life to protect mine. I have a great respect for those that serve in the military.

5. It is more important to be kind and loving than to be right, or prove that you're right.

6. Sometimes people just won't listen. Nothing you say will change their thoughts or behavior. It's best to just move on.

7. There are some people that act like cancer in life, slowly eating away at happiness and goodness. They need to be cut out. I don't have to interact with them. I don't have to allow them in my life.

8. Prayers are answered. Always.

9. Good books are like food for my soul.

10. I need to be able to create. If I can't, I tend to shut down, unable to function at my best. When I do, I feel like I can breathe again.

11. I love teaching people. Especially if it is Gospel related.

12. I am so much more productive when I have too much to do. I don't do well when I am not busy.

13. Kindness matters. Be kind to everyone--no matter who they are, what they look like, or how they act. I think kindness is WAY underrated and I certainly am not perfect at this, but I do try to be kind. I love the quote, "Always be kinder than you feel." I don't usually feel kind--especially when dealing with difficult people (something that happens daily), but I try to be kind. Patience also goes along with this. It's hard, but I'm trying.

14. I like to grow and stretch myself. If I don't then I feel like I'm sliding backwards--and I don't want to do that.

15. Memories are worth the expense. I've never regretted the trips I've gone on, the memories I've made, and the friends and family I've gotten closer to as I've visited them. The philosophy of my grandparents rings true to my heart: Memories are better than things. They usually would "give memories" as gifts, instead of things. They would give money to our family so that we could have trips, adventures, and one time, a dream vacation to Disneyland. Totally magical. I love this idea. It's fun and it builds relationships. Win-Win. :)

16. Life rarely turns out they way you think it will. I thought I would get married in my 20s. Nope. I thought I would have kids. Nope. I thought I would work in bio-medical research. Nope. I didn't think that I would like law. Nope--meaning I do like it. More than I thought I would--but certainly not enough to go to law school. I thought I wouldn't have my own business. Nope--I do have my own business now. Crazy! And awesome.

17. The Lord's timing is everything. For me this has meant patience. And I have decided that if my life had gone according to my plans (see #16)--I would have probably royally screwed it up. There is purpose in the Lord's timing. No idea what that is yet for me. But I have faith that there is and someday I'll understand. And I'm okay with that. :)

18. Sometimes you just have to do something--anything with your life. If it's the wrong thing--you'll know. 

19. Family is most important.

20. Friends are right there with family. I love the saying, "Friends are the family you choose." So true. My friends are my family too. 

21. Sometimes the smallest moments create the biggest life lessons.

22. Awkward compliments are the best kind. They may be really weird, but you know they are coming from a sincere place in the person's heart. 

23. There is always something to smile about. Usually in my life it's this: 



24. The greatest feeling in the world is knowing that a 2 year old misses you.



25. Preserving memories and photos are super important to me. Thus my love of scrapbooking. :)

26. Integrity really does matter. 

27. Hard work makes up for a lot of weaknesses.

28. My family history is incredibly important to me. They laid the foundation for the wonderful life I have.

29. Learning new things is important. Whether it's formally through school, or googling something you don't know (I do this a lot) it doesn't matter--I just love learning about things.

30. Laughter really is the best medicine. Especially when it's because of adorable toddlers.

Lesson Learned

Yesterday there was a great talk in Sacrament Meeting about trials. During it, I kept thinking, "Oh what a wonderful talk. So glad I don't have any trials. Funny how whenever a talk about trials comes up I don't have any trials. Smooth sailing." [Insert pleasant mental smile here.]

Yeah. That was my mistake. Thinking that things were smooth sailing. Somehow whenever a talk on trials comes up, I don't think I have any. And then...

BAM! Usually the very next day. Something comes up.

It's like clockwork.

You'd think that this would have registered before now. But, nope.

This morning it hit me like a ton of bricks what this week is going to be like. I almost freaked out at work.

School is starting again tonight. I'm taking 4 classes. That's officially full time (12 credits). I also work full time. Yikes! So I leave my house at 7:55-8:00am to go to work. I won't get home till after 10:30pm Monday-Wednesday. Another Yikes. Plus an online class that requires doing something EVERY SINGLE DAY. Oy. (The teacher's philosophy: "If I can work full-time, raise 6 kids, and go to law school full-time while in my 40's--you can fit this class in your schedule."--Yeah. Ok. Chances are she also didn't have Church callings.) Yikes, Yikes, Yikes.

Oh, and NONE of my textbooks have shown up yet. I ordered them almost two weeks ago. Some of them haven't even shipped yet--including the one for the homework assignment today. Hopefully I'll be able to borrow someone's. Talk about stressful. That's what I get for trying to save money. (Though I did save more than 60%, so maybe it's worth it?)

Ok. There's nothing I can do about that one. So I shouldn't let it stress me out. (This is me giving myself a pep talk. Just so you know.)

I also am doing 12 signs for the wedding this weekend. Good news: I was able to get most of them done this past weekend. I only have 2-3 of the large ones left to do (I don't like one so I might re-do it, if I have time). Problem: I literally don't have anymore time this week. Thursday is set up for the wedding. Friday is the wedding. Good thing I took Thursday and Friday off work. Somehow I have to make time between set-up and helping with flowers to whip them out. Maybe I should learn to write faster.

And somehow I will fit in my weekly temple trip. I need to fit it in.

Also, my boss is retiring Wednesday. I'm really sad about that. He is a good boss--he's very patient with me.

I am SO looking forward to Saturday. I don't have anything scheduled! And Monday is a holiday. Yay!!!! So technically I do have a 5 day weekend. And the wedding is all fun stuff, busy and a little stressful--but definitely fun.

So lesson learned. A talk/lesson/testimony in church about trials is usually a warning that something is going to come up very soon in my life.

Duly noted.

A New, Scary, Exciting Dream

The last couple of years (ok, a lot longer) I have just been kind of floating around. Working, paying bills, hanging out with my friends and family, working, and then starting school again.

Life has been fun, good, and kind of boring.

Boring in the way that I'm not challenging myself. I'm not growing and pushing myself as much as I used to. Once I got my bachelor's degree I felt like I hit a plateau. For awhile I stopped. Then I slowly started growing again, but the last couple of years I've hit that plateau again.

I've struggled to find out what I'm "meant to do." To find a new dream to pursue.

I thought it would be going back to school to get my paralegal certificate.

Now that I have my first semester under my belt, I don't think that was it. It's good, and I'm certainly going to finish it, because I do need to still pay my bills. But it's not my dream and I'm not passionate about it.

Back in March I went to a conference and the message I walked away with was to find your dream and pursue it.

But ever since then I've been frustrated because I don't know what my dream is. What is my passion? What is my dream job? What makes me happy?

I'm 29 and I still don't know. I'm sure that is probably normal that I don't know. I imagine it takes some people their whole lives to figure it out.

The last few months I've tried, struggled, and gotten a little frustrated trying to figure it out.

I've discovered the following in this little journey:

     1. Being a paralegal is very interesting and a good job. I enjoy it, but I don't LOVE it.
     2. I want to LOVE my job. I want to be excited to go to work every day.
     3. I LOVED making the invitations for Fallon's baby shower.
     4. I remembered how much fun I had making invitations for other parties I've done.
     5. While I'm at work, I find myself wishing I was home to do something crafty...to make
         something. I feel the need to do it.
     6. I feel fulfilled when I am creating something.
     7. I've found myself wishing I could do this all day. Being creative and making stuff
         is what I think about when I'm not thinking.

On more than one occasion, I've wished there was business locally that was crafty and would let me work for them.

I thought I found it at my local scrapbook store, but then they closed last year. (Boo!)

Then I heard this little voice: what if I started my own?

I laughed at the absurdity of the thought and quickly dismissed it. Yeah right. I'm not that type of person. I'm not aggressive enough. Not ambitious enough. Certainly not crazy enough.

I kept thinking why make my life that much more busy? I'm already working full-time. I go to school almost full-time (I will in the Fall). And I having a fantastic calling at church that keeps me quite busy (but not too busy!). Why would I want to throw something else in the mix?

Ok. I am crazy enough.

The thought has come across my mind often in the past few months. Friends have encouraged me many, many times. I always laugh it off and thank them for the compliment of having the opinion that someone would like to buy something I make. I always joke that no one can afford me. :)

I've worried that IF I did have a shop (or whatever) that I would stop loving my hobby. I've worried that I literally have NO IDEA how to run a business. I hate money. I hate trying to put a price on what I make.

(Seriously. I do. It's so hard. I just want to giveaway everything I make. I don't want to charge people--part of it is that I don't think that what I make is worth it, and part of it is guilt for taking people's hard earned cash. So I would need to get over this.)

Why would I want to add more stress to my life. Why?

Why not? Why wouldn't I want to get paid to do something I love?

The idea of having my own business has crawled into my brain and taken up residence. It won't leave. I keep finding myself thinking. If I did have my own shop...then I would do this. Or I would sell that. Or what would my brand be? Logo? Business name? So many questions I keep answering or wanting, needing to answer.

And then I remind myself that it's crazy and just a silly idea. It's impossible. I shouldn't waste my time on something so frivolous. I mean, why waste time and energy on something that probably wouldn't go anywhere.

Why not?

I doubt myself and my abilities and then a little voice says, "Who's to say that it wouldn't go anywhere, or be wonderful, or be exactly what I am supposed to do? And even if it's not those things--you'll learn something."

Anytime I try to talk myself out of it, a little voice in my head finds a way around the doubt. (I don't know anything about business accounting. Oh wait, I know several business accountants...including my best friend.)

Maybe I'm supposed to do this? But I'm not brave enough. I act like I am, but I'm not.

But maybe I could be. What's that quote from We Bought a Zoo?

"You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it."

I think this just might be my 20 seconds of insane courage....




P.S. Right after I finished writing the above, I turned on the radio. This was the song that came on:

Brave by Sara Bareilles

Love the song and love the video. And I'm feeling a bit braver. :)

Steal, Er, Deal of the Day

Today started out rough, shopping-wise. I'm looking for something specific for my Halloween costume, but I haven't found what I'm looking for. (That's what I get for being so picky.) And this morning I went ALL THE WAY DOWNTOWN to go to a famous local Halloween store in Old Town Sac. Traffic was beastly (on a Saturday morning?!) and parking was even worse!! Parking in Old Town is a bear anyway, but I figured in the morning it wouldn't be too bad. Anyway...30 minutes later, still nothing, so I finally decided to go to the parking garage, ugh. 

After finding the shop, looking around for about 15 minutes, and not really finding what I was looking for (saw some beautiful options, but they were a bit expensive and not exactly what I wanted, boo) I decided to leave. I was already not happy and quite hungry. I did break down and get a little treat at the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. I mean, if I'm going to go ALL THE WAY down there, I'm certainly not going to walk away empty handed. So I got a caramel apple for my trouble. mmmmmm.....yummy.

Anyway, all this is to tell you that I randomly decided to stop by Deseret Industries (aka: DI) on my way home to stop in and see if they had anything that I couldn't live without. I've been looking for a new chair for my bedroom, an ottoman, and vaguely looking for a sewing machine. 

I decided a few months ago I want to try to learn to sew again (I was SOOO bad at it every time I've tried to learn before that I was permanently banned from my mom's sewing machine--true story). But I don't want to borrow one and then break it. So I wanted to buy one, but for cheap. Craigslist hasn't been super impressive and I haven't seen anything at my local Goodwill. 

But today! OH TODAY! Glory! I walked in and asked a lady where I could look at some machines (there weren't any chairs or ottomans, boo.) The lady kindly pointed to one that was built into a cabenit. It was old, only $30, but not what I wanted. Then I wandered around a bit and saw one that had just been brought out. 

Really?! Could it be?! I bee-lined straight for it and began investigating. It looked good, was a Singer, had about 20-30 different stitches, and it had the pedal and the power cord. And then the kicker: It was only $25. Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

Just as I reached out to touch it, an older woman (who, I assume, already had years of experience sewing, probably already had 6 machines at home, and didn't need this one) began to examine it too. She never once looked at me. I'm sure she didn't because I kept staring at her as she stepped in front of me and started turning knobs and pushing things on it. I continued to stare at her. We stood there for 3 or 4 minutes! I kept glaring her down with my "how-dare-you-cut-in-front-of-me" eyes, just waiting for her to get intimidated and walk away. THEN without a glance at me, SHE PICKED IT UP AND PUT IT IN HER BASKET AND WALKED AWAY!!! 

What?! 

I was a little upset and put out. It was MY sewing machine. Mentally, I had already purchased it and there she was STEALING it!?! 

Actually, I was a bit devastated. I even texted Caitlin to lament over my "stolen" sewing machine. I even lamely followed the lady a bit hoping that she would decide that she didn't need a 7th sewing machine and put it down somewhere randomly. I'm so pathetic. hahaha. She didn't after a few minutes and so I wandered away to look at some other things. I went to the restroom and when I came out I happen to see the lady again (I promise, I had stopped stalking her!) and saw that she still had the machine. I decided that my hopes and dreams were dashed and that I needed to get home. 

As I began to walk out I saw a white box that looked much like a sewing machine case. 

What?! Could it be? No. Surely, there couldn't be another one. I mean the lady said that they didn't have any more on the floor. But there one was. I seriously looked around to see if that lady (or any lady) would "steal" that one too. No one was watching me. I quickly walked up and put my hands on it, thereby "claiming" it for all to see. :) I took off the cover and saw that this machine was only $20.00!

WHAT?! 

I practically drooled on it so no one would rip it out of my hands. It's a Brother CS-100 machine, which is a decent brand. It's visually definitely in very good condition. And it has 60 stitches, including button whole stitches! Eep! AND it had a case! Did I mention it was only $20?!

Yeah, I ran out of the store with in my hands, after, of course, paying for it. 

It was a testimony to me that Heavenly Father loves me, and that sometimes the first thing I see, isn't always the best, I just have to be a little patient, for a little longer. Seriously, I totally got that lesson out of this whole experience. :D

So I brought it home, plugged it in, and it turned on! And it works! YAY! I own a sewing machine.  My mom will be "sew" proud! hahahaha. 

Some pictures of my little beauty:

Here are the stitches it does:

Awesome right?! Well the best part was when I came and looked it up online. I wanted to printout the manual so I can learn to actually use it, and the newest model (which looks exactly the same) is the Brother CS6000i. Yeah, that one lists on Amazon for $449. and is currently priced at $160.00. 

I saw a CS-100 for $100, plus $25 shipping, on ebay. Did I mention I got mine for $20? It is apparently missing some of the accessories, but who cares?! If I need them, I buy them. They're certainly cheaper than buying a new machine. 

Yeah, I totally "stole" that machine. Yay! Go Me!

Now I just need to learn to use it! 

A "Fun" Conversation

Today I "got" to take a "fun" call at 11:30am from someone that WASN'T my client. :) And when I say "fun" I mean "not fun." But it made me laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.
 
Apparently this client, we'll call him "Grumpy Old Man" or "GOM" (wow, I'm just full of quote marks today!) had a problem. Here's how the conversation went:
 
ME: Good morning! How can I help you?
GOM: Yeah, I need to talk to my attorney ___.
ME: Oh, I'm sorry. He's actually out today. Would you like his voicemail?
GOM: NO! I need to talk to him NOW!
ME: Well, he's out today and his assistant is on another call. Would you like her voicemail?

(This is where he assumes that I can, and will, help him and starts going off on me about his problem...as if I would even know what he's talking about. I know nothing about that attorney's cases.)

GOM: I'm supposed to be dropping off paperwork at the Justice Center (the County Courthouse by my office) and we left at 4:30am this morning and WE'RE JUST NOW GETTING HERE! YOUR DIRECTIONS WERE BAD. (turns out he was only coming from Sacramento...a 20 minute drive.)
ME: Oh, I'm sorry. I can offer to take a message or put you through to the attorney's voicemail.  (Code for: THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU, DUDE.)
GOM: Well I'm angry that the attorney gave me such bad directions. And I have no idea what this paper I'm looking at means.
ME: Well, I'm sure the assistant would be able to help you out, but unfortunately, she's still on another call. I can transfer you to her voicemail if you like.
GOM: NO! I NEED THE ATTORNEY'S CELL PHONE NUMBER SO I CAN CALL HIM ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW.
ME: Well, I'm sorry, but I don't actually have his cell phone number. (Which I don't for this exact reason.) But I'm sure his assistant would be able to help you either way.
GOM: SERIOUSLY?! YOU CAN'T GIVE ME HIS NUMBER?!
ME: No, I'm very sorry sir. I don't know what it is.
GOM: REALLY?! WHAT IF I WERE A DOCTOR TO CALLING BECAUSE HIS WIFE IS IN THE HOSPITAL DYING?! ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT YOU WOULDN'T GIVE ME HIS NUMBER?!?!
ME: Unfortunately, yes, because I don't know what it is. His assistant would have that information.
GOM: OH. MY. GO[SH]!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! LADY YOU ARE SO UNHELPFUL.
ME: I apologize that I can't help you, would you...
*click* --yeah, he hung up on me.

[and scene]

So that was fun. I was so nice and patient, and sincere. Seriously. I was. (yeah, yeah, don't look so surprised.) Turns out he did get the correct directions from the assistant via a letter...so they were written for him. That was sooo...special.

It was terrible because I couldn't stop laughing after he hung up.

I had a couple of other similar calls today from my clients that I had to REALLY work at not to laugh.

One client in particular yelled at me & told me that he had made it clear to us that he didn't want a hearing, when last Wednesday, he called and was super angry that we hadn't filed for a hearing--despite my boss's caution not to do so. Yeah, I heart my clients. :)

I'm so glad that today I was prone to laughter rather than stress and being mad at the ridiculousness of people. It feels so much better. :)

The Bitter Taste of Eating My Own Words

I guess it should be no surprise by now, but I'm pretty good at putting my foot in my mouth...or living up to the standard that I tell people I'm at. This story is a case in point. Shock, I know.

Friday afternoon I had a couple of hours to build a new bookcase for my boss. We've had it sitting the office for about 2 years and no one has built it, so I decided to (I was tired of seeing files all over the floor and having to bend over to pick them up or look through them).

The directions were easy to follow and I began working away. The supervising attorney in the office came over and watched for a moment and observed that I was using, and following, the directions.

Boss: You're reading the directions?
Me: Yep. Otherwise I'll miss something and then it will be wrong and break and smash someone and then the subsequent Work Comp case will be my fault.
Boss: Good point. [laugh] I rarely follow directions and usually something is wrong with the finished product. I should probably follow directions more.
Me: It would probably help. When I follow the directions, things usually end up practically perfect.

Yeah, not this time. I did follow the directions! But somehow, either the directions were wrong (which I insist was the case) or I flipped a piece upside down.

Here's what the front/top part of each shelf is supposed to look like: It's nice and flush and flat.

Here is what the weight bearing shelf looked like after I put it together. Yep, there's a lip and it's not supposed to be there.

At the point in the process that I put the shelf together, I couldn't tell which end was the top or the bottom so I didn't realize that it was wrong. And once I did realize, the bookcase was already together and I couldn't take it apart.

The office got a good chuckle out of it.

That is what I get for telling my boss that I'm good at putting things together and them turning out perfectly.

Apparently God likes to keep me humble.

Note to everyone: I got the memo--let's not humble me anymore for awhile. m'kay cupcake?

But, hey, at least the bookcase hasn't fallen over and squashed anyone...yet. Where's some wood, I need to knock on it.

Reality Check

Yesterday I was informed that our office is changing health insurance programs. Yikes!

I have NO experience with how insurance works and actual costs of medical care. You would think that I would know because I work in a law firm that deals with injuries (work and personal), but no, I don't.

Today I learned some interesting things about my health care costs when I've gone to the ER the last three times. I called my current insurance company and talked to the billing department.

• November 3, 2011: I went to have an MRI of my neck to see if my cervical dystonia was causing any damage (thankfully it isn't). Cost: $2,835. My co-pay: $50.00. Peace of Mind: Priceless.
• November 7, 2011: I pulled a muscle in my back, got serious pain meds, had a siezure, and then hung out at the ER for a few hours. Cost: $2,389.45. Really? That's it? My co-pay: $150.00.
• April 3, 2011: Serious case of the flu (like way bad), got a bunch of fluids and basically spent the night in the ER. Cost: $1,718.75. My co-pay: $150.00. Being alive: Also priceless.
• May 26, 2010: I crushed the very tip of my middle finger. I got an x-ray that said the very tip was broken, but there was nothing they could do for it except give me pain meds and antibiotics (it was a "compound fracture" because it was bleeding). Cost: $7,724.80. My co-pay: $150.00. Phew! Glad I didn't have a deductible!! Can you imagine the costs if I had actually broken something of value? Like my arm or leg? Goodness! Safety: Priceless. ;)

Lessons Learned:

1) I go to the ER WAY TOO MUCH!
2) Medical Bills are super expensive--even for the relatively benign things like getting the flu.
3) Deductibles are way bad. I never want to pay them.
4) I don't know how people pay their medical bills! I have a hard time paying my co-pays!

So yeah, I think it's pretty clear that I need to keep good insurance. Darn.

A Rough Day

I try not to blog about the difficult things in my life because there is so much good to be excited about.

But today was a hard day.

Everything was good (ie: I didn't get yelled at by clients too much at work and I got to go on a field trip to the court in Sacramento) in the morning, up until we had our annual health insurance meeting in the afternoon.

I almost didn't go because I had no intention of changing. I liked my doctor and I was fine paying my premiums (they've been going down!). I was a few minutes late to the meeting, and apparently missed some crucial information: Our Company Insurance Policy is completely changing!

AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I don't know anything about insurance. I've had the same health insurance since I was born. Like I was born into that insurance. I know how it works and I can get it to work for me--and I can afford it. I don't want to change!!!! Waaaaaaa!

I sat there for an hour listening to all this insurance mumbo-jumbo about deductions and HSAs and Co-pays and costs for various circumstances. My brain melted. Two of the other secretaries are in the same boat as me and none of us understand any of it. I've never had a deductible and having to pay one FREAKS ME OUT! 

It's like that one scene in the movie "The Proposal" when hottie mchotterson, Ryan Reynolds yells, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!" (so hilarious!).

I have to carry an epi pen, in fact the allergist I saw said that I'm supposed to have three on me (ridiculous, I say). With most of the new plans, I'll have to pay full price on them before I'll get a reduced price. Prescription plans now have . WHAT?!?! Epi-pens are freakin' expensive! Like $150/injector. I just picked up a couple of new ones and they were $15 each, using my insurance.

So I had a mini panic attack in the meeting, though, fortunately, I wasn't the only one. Even one of the attorneys has a hard time figuring out insurance. That made me feel a little better.

Basically it comes down to cost analysis / trying to anticipate future costs.

And numbers and I don't get along. (I think I might be slightly dyslexic-seriously.)

You can see why figuring out which plan to pick could be a tad difficult.

After the group meeting, we had one-on-one meetings. I was told that I'm going to be an exception and be able to keep my health insurance--IF I want to pay more than double a month for it.

I might have cried a little at this information. I can't afford double.

So now I have to stress about this over the weekend while I decide what to do. At least I have until Tuesday.

To make myself feel better, I went over to Cait's to hang out, eat dinner, and play with Rachel. It helped.......until Cait told me that she was REALLY excited about my birthday present.

This has me VERY worried, and is a good case-in-point difference between the two of us.

When I get really excited about a present I'm giving to someone, it's because the present is sooooo amazing and perfect for the person. It's overall a very positive thing.

When Caitlin gets excited about a present, it's usually because it's snarky and obnoxious and harassment. And then she'll tell you about this "perfect present" so you get excited and build up anticipation. And then you open it. And then Caitlin laughs. Usually there is good reason to be concerned if Caitlin is laughing. :)

Thus my concern. I'm worried why she would be so excited. It's not like she's going to buy me a new computer. I tried to get her to give me a hint, but she wouldn't.

I guess I just have to wait A WHOLE WEEK. AHHHHHHH!!! So cruel. I hate not knowing. This just might kill me--more so than deciding what insurance to buy.

Not the Brightest Penny in the Pocket

This morning when I came into work, I began my usual routine: clocking in, turning on lights, turning on my computer, filling my water bottle, putting away any dishes in the kitchen...when I realized something about our kitchen sink.

We have a spray nozzle faucet attachment thingy.

I was confused. I asked one of my co-workers when she got in if we had a new faucet head installed. She looked at me like I was crazy (not that she was far off...) and slowly said no. I asked her if someone had installed a spray nozzle faucet attachment thingy (that's the technical name) recently. Again, she slowly said no...and that it had been there since the building was built for us...TWO YEARS AGO.

Yeah. That was embarassing. How many times had I done dishes in that sink? I've NEVER noticed it. Seriously. (I still contend that someone put it in recently...like while I was on vacation last week.)

Right now my mom is hanging her head in shame. She tried so hard to teach to be observant. In fact she had us frequently play games to help us develop this skill when we were kids. So yeah, I failed. The thing is, I love those things and really wish that my kitchen sink at home had one. I can't believe that I've never noticed it.

So all day I've been a bit embarassed about my lack of observance.

Then later in the afternoon, my boss and I were telling our somewhat new co-worker funny stories about clients and she told us this story.

She used to work at a local water park and one 4th of July day, a lady called in to find out if the water slides would be open that night. My co-worker said no, they weren't this year because of the holiday. Then the most amazing thing happened.

The lady started getting mad at her. How it was rude to close the park at night and give the employees the evening off... (and I quote here)..."because 4th of July. It's not like it's a real national holiday." Seriously. The lady said that. My co-worker was so surprised by the idiot she was talking to that she couldn't even respond. Then the lady said some other choice things and hung up.

Um, yeah, lady. 4th of July is THE holiday. Because of that holiday, we have the rest of them.

And because of that lady's stupidity, I instantly felt better about my lack of observance. At least I know that Independance Day is a REAL holiday.

Yay. Go me.

A Lesson in Humility

As they say, "Pride goeth before the fall."

Today I found out that it's true. Dang it. And now my finger AND my nose both have an owie. Owwie? oowwwieee? How do you even spell that??

Anyway. Moving on.

So here is the lesson I learned.

At work our office was dropped by a client, and in this particular case we are quite happy about it. So I was telling my co-worker how glad I am that my work was impecable in this case and that nothing bad can come back on me because I did my job correctly. I then commented on how it saved me a lot of stress today because I did my job well. My co-worker laughed at me because I had no problem bragging about it. (Is it really bragging if it's true?) So my co-worker and I bantered for a little bit about my bragging and laughed, all in good fun.

Then came the lesson.

In order to finish up the last couple of things on the file to get rid of it, I had to remove a couple of staples.

As I was pulling out the first staple, my finger got caught in the remover and smooshed (technical term) my finger leading to a large and rather painful blood blister on my ring finger on my right hand.

After a moment, I got over the tragic and sudden loss of use of my finger and tried to remove the second staple. This time the staple came out and flicked right into my nose with the sharp pointy ends stabbing (yes, stabbing!) the end of my nose! Another owie. Boo.

I told my co-worker and she laughed again and said, "Pride goeth before the fall."

Obviously.

Pure Exhaustion

Yesterday was probably one of the most exhausting days at work I've had in a VERY long time. True story. And I learned a lesson: When you feel prompted to put your hair in a ponytail in the morning when your getting ready for work--it's probably for a good reason.

Yesterday when I was getting ready for work, I actually had a few extra minutes. I was in a good mood (shocking!) and happy. I took the time to straighten my hair so it wasn't so frizzy and made it look pretty. The plan was to wear it down. As I was about to walk out the door, I thought I should put it up into a high ponytail. I hardly ever do that for work because, for me at least, it's too casual. But I went with it and did it.

It was a good thing too. When my co-worker showed up in the morning, she told me that my boss's brother died unexpectedly the day before (my boss got the call in the 10 minutes I left early to take the mail) and so he wasn't going to be in the office.

Panic mode set it. There was a hearing yesterday afternoon that he needed to make an appearance at. There was also a hearing set for this morning. Client appointments need to be rescheduled and his calendar cleared for this week. AGH! Good thing I wore my hair in a ponytail so it was out of the way and I didn't have to deal with it all day.

I started making phone calls to defense attorney and the judge's offices. Everyone was pretty understanding and easy to work with so that worked out nicely. But there was a lot of work to do to get the hearings dealt with.

Then I kept getting calls from clients throughout the mess. One client in particular called repeatedly--and without getting to into it (it's really complicated), he re-injured his back and needed to get into a doctor asap. But his doctor wasn't available and wouldn't treat his back, so then I spent the afternoon scrambling trying to find a doctor and get the records to them and get a GIGANTIC file copied and sent to a new attorney for the hearing for this morning. Seriously I copied/scanned in almost 3,000 pages yesterday.

Oh, and then I checked the calendar and realized that we had a statute due tomorrow that hadn't been dealt with yet. And only my boss could do the write up. So I stayed late and prepped as much as possible for him and emailed him all the paperwork he needed.

Oy. I slept really well last night. Until I had a dream this morning about some weird variation of Harry Potter. Anyway...so I learned to sometimes wear my hair in a ponytail. :)

Pure Exhaustion

Yesterday was probably one of the most exhausting days at work I've had in a VERY long time. True story. And I learned a lesson: When you feel prompted to put your hair in a ponytail in the morning when your getting ready for work--it's probably for a good reason.

Yesterday when I was getting ready for work, I actually had a few extra minutes. I was in a good mood (shocking!) and happy. I took the time to straighten my hair so it wasn't so frizzy and made it look pretty. The plan was to wear it down. As I was about to walk out the door, I thought I should put it up into a high ponytail. I hardly ever do that for work because, for me at least, it's too casual. But I went with it and did it.

It was a good thing too. When my co-worker showed up in the morning, she told me that my boss's brother died unexpectedly the day before (my boss got the call in the 10 minutes I left early to take the mail) and so he wasn't going to be in the office.

Panic mode set it. There was a hearing yesterday afternoon that he needed to make an appearance at. There was also a hearing set for this morning. Client appointments need to be rescheduled and his calendar cleared for this week. AGH! Good thing I wore my hair in a ponytail so it was out of the way and I didn't have to deal with it all day.

I started making phone calls to defense attorney and the judge's offices. Everyone was pretty understanding and easy to work with so that worked out nicely. But there was a lot of work to do to get the hearings dealt with.

Then I kept getting calls from clients throughout the mess. One client in particular called repeatedly--and without getting to into it (it's really complicated), he re-injured his back and needed to get into a doctor asap. But his doctor wasn't available and wouldn't treat his back, so then I spent the afternoon scrambling trying to find a doctor and get the records to them and get a GIGANTIC file copied and sent to a new attorney for the hearing for this morning. Seriously I copied/scanned in almost 3,000 pages yesterday.

Oh, and then I checked the calendar and realized that we had a statute due tomorrow that hadn't been dealt with yet. And only my boss could do the write up. So I stayed late and prepped as much as possible for him and emailed him all the paperwork he needed.

Oy. I slept really well last night. Until I had a dream this morning about some weird variation of Harry Potter. Anyway...so I learned to sometimes wear my hair in a ponytail. :)

To Acknowledge or Not...

DISCLAIMER: Feel free to skip this post. It's not exactly fun and positive. And it certainly isn't meant to get sympathy--in fact, that is exactly the last thing I want. Seriously. Don't even think about it. In fact, I think I'll back date this so no one sees it, just to ensure that doesn't happen.

So there is a day coming up and I'm not sure that I want to acknowledge. It's my birthday soon. Ok. I know that I'm not "old" old, but I'm not feeling very happy about this. I'll be 27. Again, I know that is not a tragedy--but it kinda is--at least it seems so to me.

Everyone is all like, "How are you going to celebrate the big day? We should do something fun!" Well, that's great. I don't really want to do anything. I'm not going to. I don't really care to.

I feel like I haven't accomplished anything in all those 27 years. I haven't even hit a lot of the major milestones yet. I'm not going to elaborate on what the "milestones" because its embarrassing, but still. I know I'm judging myself kind of harshly about it but I'm not really sure how not to. Anyway. Why bother celebrating something that isn't happy?

The other thing about my birthday is that something always unpleasant (or worse) happens. Its been that way for probably the past 10 years or so. I'm not joking. At the risk of sounding like a complainer (I don't mean to), I am going to provide some examples.

When I turned 16--my mom forgot my birthday. She'll swear this isn't true--but she didn't acknowledge the day at all until late that night. And my friends forgot too. 5-6 days later, they were like, "Wait, when is your birthday again?" Yeah. Seriously. It's a true story.

I don't really remember my 18th birthday because it was overshadowed by probably one of the worst and most embarrassing experiences of my life. Please don't ask me about it.

Four years ago, I found out that I have a condition that will make it very difficult for me to get and stay pregnant--eventually--when I get to that milestone. It was devastating to say the least. Thankfully, I'm fine and it is definitely not life threatening--but it is sad to me.

The next day was my birthday and Stake Conference. I thought Stake Conference would be wonderful and uplifting and help me feel better. Yeah, not so much. I'm not joking when I say--EVERY talk was about having families and how wonderful and magical it is and such a blessing, blah, blah, blah. Not exactly what I wanted to hear right then. I cried the entire time. It was so bad and uncomfortable that I almost left early. And I never, ever consider doing that. But then I decided to stick it out hoping that there would be the perfect talk just for me. There wasn't. I still don't know what I learned from that meeting.

(As a side note--I have learned to deal with this. And I am okay with it. I'm looking forward to the time when I'll be able to adopt! I'm so grateful that the Church has an adoption program.)

Two years ago, I found out that I have a fairly significant gluten intolerance a couple of weeks before my birthday (the week my sister got married) so I couldn't have her wedding cake or birthday cake. Not cool.

Last year I found out I have allergies to pineapple (one of my favorites) and walnuts and now have to carry an Epi-Pen with me. Not too long after that I found out that I have a pretty significant allergy to Wasps. That was painful.

Anyway these are just a few of the highlights, there are others, but I don't want to get into it. It just makes me sound like even more of a complainer.

I've had a few good birthdays, but I guess for me they have never been anything too special. Maybe that is why I love celebrating other people's birthdays so much--so that their birthdays are special--as they should be.

To end on a good note--last year's birthday was fun. It was on a Monday and I went to FHE, which was our ward's Pine Wood Derby. It was fun and my house won "Prettiest Car" Award. Then my roommates surprised me with a big cake (that I couldn't eat, lol) at FHE. It was really sweet. Afterward, some of our friends and I went to Cheesecake Factory-one of my favorite restaurants to eat.

Anyway--so that is how I feel about my birthday. I'm pretty ambivalent. I've gotten to the point that I just don't care. Life has taught me that when it comes to my birthday, if I lower my expectations enough, then anything positive will make like the best ever.

Lesson Learned

Last night I learned a life lesson.

Always make sure that the flue on the fireplace is open when you light a fire.

'Nuff said.



Oh, that's not enough said? Well then here is the embarassing story.

It all began early yesterday when my boss tried to fax a one page document to another attorney's office. Well instead of pushing the fax button, he pushed the copy button, and then entered the fax number. So the copier tried to make 642 copies of the page. (you're already wondering what the heck this has to do with a fireplace, aren't you?)

Later I realized what had happened (and subsequently why the other attorney never got the fax). I gently pointed out to my boss what he had done. ("Hey! Did you know that instead of faxing that paper, you copied it?!" My boss: "Uhhh, that wasn't me!! **pause** I swear I pushed the fax button!!" Then we laughed.) I then asked if he wanted me to spend two hours in front of the shredder shredding it. He said that I should burn it.

So being the good employee I am, I took the TWO REAMS OF PAPER home to burn. I started crumpling up paper and lit it on fire. I kept throwing more crumpled paper to the fire. It was quite the blaze. And it was hot (which was quite convenient because I was cold). I did this for several minutes.

Then the fire alarm went off!! It scared the crap out of me! I couldn't figure out why. I thought my roommate, who was making dinner, burnt something. Well something was burning, but it wasn't her dinner. I turned around and there was so much smoke in the house!! I quickly tried to unplug the fire alarm (it was so loud that I think I might have some permanent hearing loss--I'm not kidding!). But I couldn't. My roommates and I opened up the doors turned on the fans and started trying to get it out. The alarm went on forever!! I'm sure there was smoke billowing out of the house. It probably looked awful!

The colored flame is from some colored tissue paper I threw in.

I couldn't figure out why there was so much smoke. Then Bekah asked if the flue was open. I responded, "Well of course it is! I've never closed it." Then I checked and, of course, it was closed. Don't know how that happened. And the alarm was still going off. As soon as it was open, the smoke went up the chimney and after about 20 more minutes, the house finally cleared out. And finally the alarm turned off. But it still smells like smoke.

Then Bekah had the line of the night. She said to me, "Well it looks like your plan to burn the paperwork backfired!" Oh Bekah. You and your puns, how I dearly love you both!

It was horribly embarrassing. I'm very sorry to my roommates. And whenever I burn something in the fireplace, I will always check to make sure the flue is open. Lesson Learned!