A "Fun" Conversation

Today I "got" to take a "fun" call at 11:30am from someone that WASN'T my client. :) And when I say "fun" I mean "not fun." But it made me laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.
 
Apparently this client, we'll call him "Grumpy Old Man" or "GOM" (wow, I'm just full of quote marks today!) had a problem. Here's how the conversation went:
 
ME: Good morning! How can I help you?
GOM: Yeah, I need to talk to my attorney ___.
ME: Oh, I'm sorry. He's actually out today. Would you like his voicemail?
GOM: NO! I need to talk to him NOW!
ME: Well, he's out today and his assistant is on another call. Would you like her voicemail?

(This is where he assumes that I can, and will, help him and starts going off on me about his problem...as if I would even know what he's talking about. I know nothing about that attorney's cases.)

GOM: I'm supposed to be dropping off paperwork at the Justice Center (the County Courthouse by my office) and we left at 4:30am this morning and WE'RE JUST NOW GETTING HERE! YOUR DIRECTIONS WERE BAD. (turns out he was only coming from Sacramento...a 20 minute drive.)
ME: Oh, I'm sorry. I can offer to take a message or put you through to the attorney's voicemail.  (Code for: THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU, DUDE.)
GOM: Well I'm angry that the attorney gave me such bad directions. And I have no idea what this paper I'm looking at means.
ME: Well, I'm sure the assistant would be able to help you out, but unfortunately, she's still on another call. I can transfer you to her voicemail if you like.
GOM: NO! I NEED THE ATTORNEY'S CELL PHONE NUMBER SO I CAN CALL HIM ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW.
ME: Well, I'm sorry, but I don't actually have his cell phone number. (Which I don't for this exact reason.) But I'm sure his assistant would be able to help you either way.
GOM: SERIOUSLY?! YOU CAN'T GIVE ME HIS NUMBER?!
ME: No, I'm very sorry sir. I don't know what it is.
GOM: REALLY?! WHAT IF I WERE A DOCTOR TO CALLING BECAUSE HIS WIFE IS IN THE HOSPITAL DYING?! ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT YOU WOULDN'T GIVE ME HIS NUMBER?!?!
ME: Unfortunately, yes, because I don't know what it is. His assistant would have that information.
GOM: OH. MY. GO[SH]!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! LADY YOU ARE SO UNHELPFUL.
ME: I apologize that I can't help you, would you...
*click* --yeah, he hung up on me.

[and scene]

So that was fun. I was so nice and patient, and sincere. Seriously. I was. (yeah, yeah, don't look so surprised.) Turns out he did get the correct directions from the assistant via a letter...so they were written for him. That was sooo...special.

It was terrible because I couldn't stop laughing after he hung up.

I had a couple of other similar calls today from my clients that I had to REALLY work at not to laugh.

One client in particular yelled at me & told me that he had made it clear to us that he didn't want a hearing, when last Wednesday, he called and was super angry that we hadn't filed for a hearing--despite my boss's caution not to do so. Yeah, I heart my clients. :)

I'm so glad that today I was prone to laughter rather than stress and being mad at the ridiculousness of people. It feels so much better. :)